21

i probably shouldn't post this photo, in case i ever decide to run for office or anything, but so be it. i toss caution windward. this is me at age 21, a solid 15 years ago. i was kinda pretty, no? i suppose i had my moments. but don't know that anyone who knows me now would recognize this girl here as me.

i've been going through old photos this week (we have boxes filled with envelopes filled with photos, mostly unlabeled), scanning them onto the computer, desiring some sort of organization, looking at lots of images of skinnier alexes, all clavicles and jawlines and cheekbones. perhaps i was too skinny then, but now i've gone the other way. i look at my apartments in rockville, md, and carrboro, nc - not great apartments by any standard, but i look at the stuff i had on the walls and remember what was important then. what my life was like - not better than now, not hardly, just different. i was lonely and sad and confused for much of my 20s, actually. i wasn't connected to anything and i didn't know what i wanted. now, at least, i'm connected; i'm not lonely.

there are a lot more photos, mostly from age 22 to 25 or so, that i want to scan. one good thing about those photos of the old me: they drive me to eat a bit better and get down to a bona fide exercise regimen.

ahem. anyway. in other news, the writing has been going fairly well this week, actually. i'm just as surprised as you are.

and i took fountains of wayne and kris delmhorst out of my cd player this week after very long tenures (they're so good), in favor of two jane's addiction cds. i haven't listened to them in a long long time, but "classic girl," "been caught stealing," and "jane says" remain favorite songs of mine from that distant era.

yes - i've definitely been living through my 20s again in the last couple of weeks - thinking of strip clubs, revisiting these photos, listening to this music.